Life

Ecclesiastes 3:1-14 There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven-- 2 A time to give birth, and a time to die… 12 I know that there is nothing better for them than to rejoice and to do good in one's lifetime; 13 moreover, that every man who eats and drinks sees good in all his labor-- it is the gift of God. 14 I know that everything God does will remain forever; there is nothing to add to it and there is nothing to take from it, for God has so worked that men should fear Him.

In the cycle of death, there is also a cycle of life. Where there is pain, there is also joy. This past week, we had a sonogram on the twins that my wife is carrying. It turns out that we have a boy and the other…a mystery. Just too shy and hiding from us. I think, this is God’s way of just answering my questions. Surely He knows better for “His ways thoughts are greater than my thoughts and His ways are higher than mine.” (Isa 55). In this cycle of life & death, pain & joy, I think the following quote from Dr Bruce Waltke & Dr Chuck Swindoll said makes sense. When asked why God allows us to go through sufferings and difficult times, Dr Waltke said, “I've come to the place where I believe only on rare occasions does God tell us why, so I've decided to stop asking.” Chuck Swindoll adds, “And even if He did explain His reasons, I would seldom understand. His ways are higher and far more profound than our finite minds can comprehend. So I now accept God's directions and I live with them as best as I can.”

Pain

Was Solomon right in saying that life is just a journey filled with pointless hard work and endless worries?
A marriage on the rocks, a loved one in sickness, financial insecurity, just to list a few! With these endless problems, it seems that life is just a crisis away from being a disaster. Recently, I received news that my grandmother was diagnosed with late stage cancer and I was gutted. The last few years that I spent in the US, whether in seminary or serving as a pastor, seems like borrowed time. Each time I call home, there seems to be a crisis or disaster – from my Dad’s stroke, his heart attack, my grandmother’s numerous brushes with death, my parents’ auto accident, my arrest warrants for some silly reasons, amongst others. It seems better if I just do not call home… well, I am just living in denial. Surely, the Lord who said, “All things work for the good of those who love Him, those who are called according to His purpose,” (Ro 8:28) knows better! I am worried for my grandmother, not so much for her earthly life for she has lived a long and full life, but for her eternal destiny. Surely the Lord knows my cries over the last decade for her soul.

My friends, I don’t know what you may be experiencing today, but know that our lives are not just a string of coincidences and uncontrolled events put together by a cosmic accident. Today, I find comfort in knowing, Romans 8:38-39 For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Hear my voice, oh Lord!

Well, I have been silent over the last few months because there was just too much going on. But in these times, our walk with God is especially sweet. Looking at my journal tonight, there was this entry in February on Ps 116.

Psalm 116:1 I love the LORD, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy.

Isn’t amazing that God hears our cries – our pathetic, desperate cries! But truly, that the creator of heaven and earth is interested in our daily lives, listening in, watching us and speaking with us through His word. It never ceases to amaze me when His word speaks directly into the situations and circumstances that I am facing. An appropriate word just in the time of need! Just yesterday I was attending a prayer meeting and I thought, “It’s so tiring, wish I could just skip it & go home after a long day’s of work.” It was just the few of us, but one of the brothers shared an inspiring testimony that encouraged me. As I was driving home last night, I realized that each time I attended the prayer meeting I am blessed by the stories shared around the table. Each time, I feel encourage to continue to walk with the Lord. Even if that was all I got out of it, the time spent has been worth it. I realize once again that the Lord is pointing this out to me, knowing how I feel about going for prayer meetings on a Wednesday night. I realized it isn’t that God is not at work, but that I am just not in tuned. As the Psalmist says, “He heard my voice & my cry!” I need to give myself a chance to hear God, whether it’s the one hour of worship on Sunday, or just Sunday school or my daily quiet times! God hears & He is speaking, but am I listening? Or am I just to busy with the activities of my life when God is interested in listening? I love the LORD for he heard my voice.

Though the fig tree should not blossom

That dreadful call from the doctor… Over the last 12 months, this is a second dreadful call I had received from the doctor. The first was as devastating as it was shocking. But in time, I got over it. Today, well it’s just another… I am not sure how to describe it. Fear? Uncertainty? But tonight as I sit here and I try to write down how I feel, I think the foremost thought on my mind is “the Lord is the rock of my salvation!” My hope is in God and God directs our hope to the world to come, not in this. What then do I hold so tightly that I give not to God? My life & health? My hopes & desires? So I guess though I do not know where this road of uncertainty will take me, it fills my heart with thanksgiving each day that I am alive. It makes me more desirous to live my life for the Lord, knowing that He is indeed the LORD of my Salvation. Well friends, the time to find our security in the Lord is now because we would never know what tide the next call brings with it.

Habakkuk 3:17-19 17 Though the fig tree should not blossom, And there be no fruit on the vines, Though the yield of the olive should fail, And the fields produce no food, Though the flock should be cut off from the fold, And there be no cattle in the stalls, 18 Yet I will exult in the LORD, I will rejoice in the God of my salvation. 19 The Lord God is my strength, And He has made my feet like hinds' feet, And makes me walk on my high places.

Amazing Grace

A strange thing just yesterday. I was sitting in my office chair, watching a silly Christian movie set in the aftermath of Tiananmen called Bamboo in Winter. The movie had this old 80s feel, a poor contrast and fading color. But some how it’s message of the power & simplicity of the gospel just gripped me. I began to bawl like never before – tears, mucus, saliva and all just poured out from every orifice of my face. I bawled at the state of my poor soul, far remove from my first love. I was moved by the simplicity of the gospel and the new life it brought. Once again my heart was gripped by the grace of God – Amazing grace! I feel so far removed from that abundant life – a simple faith in an all powerful God that drove me to seek this life that is truly living. Far removed from the simple love that caused me to give up my worldly ambitions and walk with him. I guess, with all the training I have received and daily busyness in ministry, my heart has become dull toward His love and grace. Too preoccupied with ministry – teaching, preaching, planning, people, too preoccupied with living – establishing a home, trying to have children and all that jazz! In the hustle and bustle of living, I have alienated myself from life that is truly life. The simple message of the gospel of Jesus Christ filled with grace and love is so powerful, yet I have not allowed it to grip my heart.

I have had a cold for the past week and have not been able to breathe properly. This bawling surely cleared up my sinuses. It’s nice to be able to breathe in deeply. Breathe o my soul, breathe in deeply the grace of your God. Let it grip you and never let go. For one thing I know, I am a great sinner, but Christ is a great Savior.

What a way to start the new year! Perhaps, this is exactly what I needed. I have been thinking about what needs to change in the new year of ministry and maybe this is it – Me! A heart renewed & a love reignited! Brothers and sisters, in this new year, let us resolve to go back to the basics of our spiritual journey to His Word and prayer. Let our hearts be gripped by the simplicity of God’s grace. As John Newtown said, “As my memory fades, I only remember two things. I am a great sinner, but Christ is a great Savior.

Hope that does not disappoint

It’s been a trying month for me as we await to begin the invitro-fertilization process. It’s been a wonderful 5 years of marriage that I have enjoyed. However, there has always been this pinning to have little ones running around. Over the last year, we seek both medical and spiritual counsel and have decided to go ahead with the process. But the emotional anxiety, tedious process, the uncertainties, the cost involved and all the hassle that comes with the process has taken a toll. Sometimes, I do wonder, “Why me?” At times, I wish I could be like so many around me who have no problems making babies. And in my foolishness & weakness of the flesh, I reasoned with God, “Haven’t I given up enough?” Today, once again the love and grace of God gripped my heart, for He gently reminded me from as I was preparing a lesson (Yes, I have become an expert at reading the Bible for the sake of others rather than for my soul)

Romans 5:3-5 3 And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; 4 and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; 5 and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

At the end of the day, we have a hope that does not disappoint because God cares and He is still in control. We have a pledge of this hope through the Holy Spirit who is in us and an evidence of hope as Paul stated in v. 6 that is God sacrificing His only Son, Jesus Christ for us. God did not rebuke me for my foolishness, but lovingly reminded me of His hope. It’s not a hope that the in-vitro process will be a success, but a hope that God who does not disappoint, is in control. And hope keeps us going for another day.

Brothers and sisters, I guess we all go through difficult periods in our lives – periods of hurt, periods of grieve, periods of suffering, periods of pain and perhaps in the foolishness of flesh, we question our Lord. Yet, I pray you will cling unto our Lord and approach Him through His word, for there we will find Him encompassing us with His love.

The Blessing of Giving

Madness! Madness! The carnage that we seen in the last few months is simply just incredible. All those venerable Wall Street firms that I once hoped to work for while I was still in the banking industry – all gone up in smoke. The collapse of the sub-prime mortgage market, the bursting of the real estate market, the implosion of the US auto-industry and then the $50 billion Madoff fraud (probably the biggest fraud of all time)! Surely by now the axiom that “Greed is good” made famous by the movie Wall Street has been shot to tatters. In the midst of all these madness, the common folks like us have been unwittingly affected too. We have to tightened our belts, eat out less, and worry about our next pay check but let not this rob us of the joy of giving.

In this season of Christmas, let us remember the God who gave us His all – His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ. May it be a season of refuge from the carnage of Wall Street & Main Street. I was reminded in my devotions recently about what Paul said in 2 Corinthians.

2 Corinthians 9:6-8 6 Now this I say, he who sows sparingly shall also reap sparingly; and he who sows bountifully shall also reap bountifully. 7 Let each one do just as he has purposed in his heart; not grudgingly or under compulsion; for God loves a cheerful giver. 8 And God is able to make all grace abound to you, that always having all sufficiency in everything, you may have an abundance for every good deed;

Sometimes I think I get caught up about what I have lost and forget what God has given. In turn I forget the joy of giving and giving cheerfully. As the Lord said, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” How true, even more so during these times.

I was reminded of this when I was driving through California a recently and we stopped at this Dennis restaurant. There was this waitress who was having a really tough time from a customer. She ended up running into the Ladies weeping. Her manager explained that it was her first day of work. She came out with her make up and eye-liner all smudge up – what a day, especially since it was the eve of Thanksgiving. Apparently I was not the only who noticed that she was having a tough day. A sweet lady sitting right across me noticed it too. She ended up giving a huge tip to this young waitress and writing her a note of encouragement. That sweet lady just left it on the table as we walked out. Honestly, I thought it was kind of awkward and inconvenient. To me, that waitress was just another person I bumped into on this 26-hour drive to California and I just cannot wait to get on my way. But as I walked by the counter, the waitress with smudge eye-liner picked up the receipt and she just looked at the sweet lady, eyes brimming with tears, wearing an unforgettable smile on her face.

That day, I walked out of the Dennis feeling blessed. It made by 26-hour drive worth it. I realized what our Lord meant by it is more blessed to give than to receive. Doubly blessed as I stared at that sweet lady sitting in my car because God in His grace, had given this lady to me as my wife!